Recently I have noticed an increased amount of incoming traffic to this website from people googling ‘How To Be An Essex Girl’.
Why you would want to know this I would never know, maybe TOWIE are advertising for extras in the new series.
But, never one to let my readers down, here are my ‘top tips’ on How To Be An Essex Girl*
How To Be An Essex Girl – Top Tips
Hair. This must be Blonde, preferably out of a bottle. Straightened, then curled and back-combed to within an inch of its life. If you can afford to add some extensions, the more the better.
Make-Up. Each day ensure you apply just the right amount of make-up for it to look beautiful yet natural, then continue to add more layers for an extra 20 minutes. If you don’t need a chisel to take your foundation off at night you are doing it wrong.
Teeth. These must be pearly white. There are many methods of teeth whitening you could use, get to know these ASAP.
Tan. Orange, Mahogany, Treacle. These are all great looks.
Nails. Nails are for amateurs, you want claws. If you can get some diamantes stuck on, even better.
Clothes. There was a time when less was more. Mini-skirts and white stilettos were all the rage. An Essex girl should still show off her curves at any given opportunity, think bodycon dresses and skyscraper heels, but now oversized bags and sunglasses are a must at all times. Even when its dark
Cars – Range Rovers, Mini Coppers or, if you are feeling retro, a BMW. If you can’t afford these then a bike, Pashley of course, will suffice while claiming to be doing your bit for the environment. Or get a lift from your Dad.
So there you have it, How To Be An Essex Girl in 7 easy steps.
You’ll be looking Reem before I can say Shut Up!
*These tips on how to be an Essex girl ’may’ be made up and slightly tongue in cheek, but I can’t lie….I do love a fake tan!