In the dead of the night the anxiety hits. A pitch black blanket fills the room. Pinning me down, trapping me with only my thoughts. There is no escape. Fear courses round my body like poison. I can hear my heartbeat. I can feel it pounding.
Why am I awake? Who knows. Bad dream maybe? a noise from outside perhaps. There is no logic to my behaviour of late. I’m just going through the motions waiting, hoping, praying to come out the other side.
Everything appears worse in the dark. There are no shadows to hide in. There is no way to avoid the troubles on your mind. You are forced to think, to imagine, to worry. Your mind races with ‘what if’s’. You imagine the worse case of everything. The pain gets worse, the poison moves faster. Your heart races.
I turn over, convinced a new position will bring with it a new perspective. Hopeful the fresh side of the pillow will allow my head to rest.
Then I see him, grainy through the moonlight sneaking past the blind, sleeping next to me. At peace and worry free. A flash of envy, maybe resentment, flashes over me. I shake my had to make it disappear, telling myself to not be so silly.
My head rests on his chest, instinctively his arm pulls me close. Even when asleep he protects me.
I remember our vows, ‘for better or worse, in sickness and in health’. I think back to the day I spoke them. How happy I felt. My breath deepens and my eyes feel heavy. Safe in his arms I relax. The poison slips away into the night and, with a smile on my face, I drift back off to sleep.
Oh yes!! Horror is my genre!!! My first book was based on death and rebirth!!!! Somehow i love darker stories