Yesterday, when cooking dinner, I heard a little voice say from the lounge ‘Mummy a crowd is forming to see what is going on, poor lady’.
I had, as normal, no idea what she was going on about. So I headed in to find out. What greeted me was one of the best things about being a parent.
That little window into the mind of your child. A sure-fire way to put a smile on your face and a quick reminder of how simply awesome their innocence is.
It tuned out that the lady had fallen from the top deck of an open top bus, passers-by, including a horse and the Queen no less, had stopped to see what was going on. Medics were on the scene and had cleverly used 2 chairs to make an impromptu stretcher.
I was told not to worry, she would be fine after a quick nap.
I had been panicking of late about my upcoming 29th birthday. Fully aware that with it comes my final year before the BIG 3.0.
It had felt like my youth was escaping me. I had so much I wanted to do, and was worried I would be too old to start again.
I didn’t even know what I wanted to when ‘starting again’. I just knew I wasn’t ready to be put on the shelf. I hadn’t finished developing. I wasn’t yet the final product.
I still have no answer to the question of what I want to do in life. My only answer is that I want to be happy.
The hardest question of all though to answer is; ‘what makes me happy?’
My family of course, and my friends. Orient winning. Southend losing. Daffodils. Finding money at the bottom of my handbag. New shoes. Teaching. Writing. Learning.
All these things bring a smile to my face just thinking about them. So I guess this is a good place to start.
My husband makes me blissfully happy and we are raising two amazing children. I have a wonderful group of friends, ones I know I will still be laughing with when I’m 80 years young.
I have returned to teaching one day a week, and have found blogging; giving me an outlet for my writing and creative side.
Life is good.
Now its time to look forwards. Spring (if you could call this weather Spring) is the time for new beginnings. This is why I prefer it to Christmas. Its full of hope and fresh plans. It fills me with the belief I can be whoever I desire, despite what the past 12 months may have thrown at me.
Just like the daffodils appearing from the cold, frosty ground. It doesn’t matter what has happened to you in the past you can still bloom and make the world around you smile.
I want to learn more, about anything and everything. I love new information. Discovering new things. I want to study. I want to achieve something that inspires me to strive for more than just life in my comfort zone. I want to inspire my girls to love education in the way I do. I want to go back to university.
This is when my new plans begin. I have some ideas of what my life will look like in 5/10 years time. Now its up to me to make this happen. My life is mine to make it what I wish. And I wish it to be awesome.
I have a new camera which, thanks to Totally Tates, I am slowly learning how to use. So I have been taking many more photos of everyday life, I’m really enjoying finding the beauty in the simple things.
I have decided I want to share more of these beautiful everyday moments here on the new An Essex Wife, so without further ado here is the first of my monthly ‘memories’ posts.
Yesterday we visited the hospital for your operation.
It had been talked about for many weeks at home, we wanted to be as open with you as possible. You knew your ears were ‘broken’ and that your hearing pipes filled with glue. You were excited to be able to hear properly at last, but understandably you were a little apprehensive of what a hospital visit would be like.
The day before your operation we had a look round the children’s ward and got to meet your nurses. I was so proud of how you conducted yourself. Asking questions and taking it all in. It was as if you were growing up in front of my eyes.
The 6.15am alarm was set and off you went to bed (after making me double check I had packed everything on your list). I found sleep a little hard to come by that night, but before I knew it morning was here and off we went.
On the ward you made everyone laugh as always and were quick to make friends. The magic cream (local anesthetic) was applied to your hands, your stats checked and ID badge issued then you were free to go and play.
After 4 hours of waiting I could see the nerves were getting to you, and when our time came to go and see the anesthetist you were a little on edge. Refusing to lay on the hospital bed, they had to use gas to put you to sleep while you sat in my arms. Holding you down, and watching you pass out, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I broke my heart a little and I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear as soon as I left the room.
The next half hour was the slowest of my life. I did that thing you see in movies; just pacing the floor and looking at what seamed like the world slowest clock.
Finally hearing the phone ring and listening to the nurse call my name to go meet you in recovery was such a relief. I could hear my heart beating as I walked down the corridor to find you, so excited to be reunited with my baby. You looked so peaceful, the nurses said you had been an angel to treat and you were welcome back anytime (not that I ever wish to take you there again).
Once back on the ward your face lit up to see Daddy, and then, predictably, you turned to us and asked your favorite question…
‘Can I have something to eat please?’
There are then I knew you were ok, that all my worries of you going under general anesthetic were redundant, that my baby was now a big brave girl.
I was so very proud of you yesterday. I am so very proud of you everyday my darling girl.
You continually surpise me in life, how you take everything in your stride, you are so like your Daddy in that. I just wish I could be more like you both.
You are sleeping upstairs at the moment, just saying you needed a little rest as you had ‘had a busy few days’. You crack me up!
Memories are the best gift you can give your children.
I often sit and day-dream about the girls when they are grown up, coming home for a weekend or christmas to their family home, and listening to them reminiscing about all they things we did together while they were growing up.
I want to give them a childhood they will be proud to remember.
We have decided to ask the girls a set of questions every year on their birthdays. I plan to turn these, along with photos and memories of each year of their life, into a book for their 18th birthday. A snapshot of their childhood they can keep forever.
Here is the first installment – Scarlett Aged 4
1. What is your favourite colour? Purple
2. Who is your best friend? Issy and Mana (Pre-school friends)
3. What is your favourite film? Flushed Away
4. Where is the best place you have been since your last birthday? School
5. Who is your favourite teacher? Mrs Battersby
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? Maybe a doctor
7. What is your favourite song? Dance With Me – Olly Murrs
8. Where in the world you would most like to go on holiday? Disneyland Florida
9. What is your favourite book? Room On The Broom
10. Who is the funniest person you know? Daddy
11. What is your favourite food? Spag Bol
12. What do you like to have in your bed at night? Ra-Ra Dog
13. What is your favourite game to play? Snakes and Ladders
14. What is the funniest joke you know? Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank
15. What is your favourite animal? Pig and Sheep
I cannot wait to see how the answers to these birthday questions change over the years to come.