Just over two weeks ago I sat down and tearfully put my fears about you starting school into words. It was hard to let you go. You and your sister are the best things in my life. You are my proudest achievement and my biggest cause of worry. I wish I could keep you safe in my arms forever.
You started school on September 5th 2013. A sunny day, a happy. One your father and I will remember forever.
You headed into class like you had been there a hundred times before. No tears, barely a glance back. Good job really, or you would have seen the tears in my eyes. I was frozen to the spot with fear. From the moment you entered that classroom I would no longer be your main influence, I would no longer be the centre of your world.
I wanted to run in there and whisk you away to a place where I could keep you by my side forever. Sadly, as many mothers who have walked this path before me will testify, there is no such place. I had to let you go.
Scarlett, in two short weeks you have done us prouder than you will ever know. Making friends is easy for you, your smile is like a magnet. It takes us an age to leave the playground each day as so many children want to cuddle you goodbye.
I feel you are safe there. I know you are happy.
All I ever want is for you to be safe and happy. That is my life’s purpose.
You are excelling academically. I promise to never push you, but I will encourage you to do your best, and it seems your best is rather amazing. Your reading is wonderful. I can’t get my head round the fact that the baby I carried inside me is now reading me stories. Sounding out words and putting expression in her voice. Tonight as you read me your story I honestly thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest with pride.
As if this wasnt enough, I didn’t think I could be more proud, you had to go and outdo yourself.
Last Wednesday, while out at lunch with Granddad, my phone rang. I saw the schools number flash up on my phone and I had that moment of blood chilling fear that something was wrong. Thankfully, you were fine.
‘Could you come in Friday to assembly? Scarlett has won an award’ The voice asked.
Friday came, and as I sat there trying to work how I had reached this stage in my life already, I listened to the Head introduce each class teacher in turn to hand out their award for the week. Your teacher stood up, said how wonderful the young lady was who was to receive this award, what good role model she sets, what a pleasure they are to teach…..then they didn’t call your name. I could see on your face you were as confused as me to why I was in assembly if you were not winning an award.
The rest was a blur. A harvest hymn was followed by a prayer and then the head returned to bring assembly to a close.
She started to talk again about role models. About how proud she was of all the children in the school, especially the new reception children settling in so well. Telling the children that even though these new students were the youngest, they could still learn so much from them. She mentioned that there was one little girl who all teachers had been particularly impressed by. How she had set an example, not to just to her class but to the whole school, of how they should behave. A child who gives 100% to all she does and is a pleasure to teach.
She would be given the headteacher’s award for this week.
My baby girl.
The girl who drives me mad leaving lego on the floor and hurts my head with constant questions.
The girl I was so scared to let go incase she sank.
She was up there in front of the school shaking hands with the head.
You looked so grown up. Like you belonged up there. So confident. Beaming.
I need to be honest with you Scarlett, I make most of this parenting lark up as I go along. Some days I think I nail it, other days I fear I fail you terribly.
But in that moment, seeing you so proud of yourself and your peers so happy for you, a little of my worries faded away.
You are wonderful, you are incredible, you are beautiful inside and out and you are set for the most amazing life.
I am so proud to know you, and so incredibly grateful I get to be your Mum.
You make me happier than you will ever know.
You are so loved.
Well done big girl, you deserve it.