Yesterday we visited the hospital for your operation.

It had been talked about for many weeks at home, we wanted to be as open with you as possible.  You knew your ears were ‘broken’ and that your hearing pipes filled with glue.  You were excited to be able to hear properly at last, but understandably you were a little apprehensive of what a hospital visit would be like.

The day before your operation we had a look round the children’s ward and got to meet your nurses.  I was so proud of how you conducted yourself. Asking questions and taking it all in. It was as if you were growing up in front of my eyes.

The 6.15am alarm was set and off you went to bed (after making me double check I had packed everything on your list). I found sleep a little hard to come by that night, but before I knew it morning was here and off we went.

On the ward you made everyone laugh as always and were quick to make friends.  The magic cream (local anesthetic) was applied to your hands, your stats checked and ID badge issued then you were free to go and play.

After 4 hours of waiting I could see the nerves were getting to you, and when our time came to go and see the anesthetist you were a little on edge.  Refusing to lay on the hospital bed, they had to use gas to put you to sleep while you sat in my arms.  Holding you down, and watching you pass out, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  I broke my heart a little and I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear as soon as I left the room.

The next half hour was the slowest of my life. I did that thing you see in movies; just pacing the floor and looking at what seamed like the world slowest clock.

Finally hearing the phone ring and listening to the nurse call my name to go meet you in recovery was such a relief. I could hear my heart beating as I walked down the corridor to find you, so excited to be reunited with my baby. You looked so peaceful, the nurses said you had been an angel to treat and you were welcome back anytime (not that I ever wish to take you there again).

Once back on the ward your face lit up to see Daddy, and then, predictably, you turned to us and asked your favorite question…

‘Can I have something to eat please?’

There are then I knew you were ok, that all my worries of you going under general anesthetic were redundant, that my baby was now a big brave girl.

I was so very proud of you yesterday. I am so very proud of you everyday my darling girl.

You continually surpise me in life, how you take everything in your stride, you are so like your Daddy in that. I just wish I could be more like you both.

You are sleeping upstairs at the moment, just saying you needed a little rest as you had ‘had a busy few days’. You crack me up!

I love you (big) baby girl….forever and always

Mummy xx