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As a child it only took a shared love of toys to become friends, then as teenagers it would be a shared boy-band crush but by the time you reach adulthood it’s not that simple.

I’ve always found it easy to make friends with boys.  Madly into my football I found we had lots to talk about and the male way of dealing with life (i.e. drama free) suits my personality so much better.  I never really found this to be a problem.  As a Sports Lecturer I spent most of my working life surrounded by men and then my weekends were spent, once again in a male dominated environment, watching sport.

With Motherhood however came a whole new world that I wasn’t quite sure how to navigate.  How on earth do you make friends with girls? especially as a grown-up?

People who know me well say I’m a confident person, and with my peers I am, yet with strangers I revert to the 14 year old bullied girl with no confidence in herself as all.

When Scarlett started school I promised myself that I would make some new friends, not just for her sake but mine too.  It’s taken almost a year, but finally it’s happening.  I’m coming out of my shell in the playground and putting my self out there for play dates.  What have I learnt from all of this? Well mainly that making friends as adults is not that dissimilar to dating.

There is the nervousness of the first few smiles exchanged, then the stammering of the first hello, the pep talk you have to give yourself before suggesting you go for coffee and then the awkward fumble as you type their number into your phone.  Normally at this point I also realise that I only known them as ‘Jack’s Mummy’, so then there is the blushing as I ask for their actual name.

Then there is the worry of when to text, what to say, do you put a kiss at the end of your message or not?  Stress.

On the day of actual play date a whole new load of dilemmas arise. What too wear, you don’t want to look like you’ve made too much effort but equally can’t tun up in your sweats and Uggs.  Will the conversation flow, will you even have anything  to talk about, will the children play nicely and will a day be arranged for a second date.

Worst of all, if it doesn’t go well you know you have potentially another 5 years of school gate meeting to contend with.  Double Stress!

Although if it goes well, just like a real first date, you have a great time, plenty of laughs and the spark that gives you a new lease of life.

And for that reason, it’s totally worth it.

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